No Living happily Ever After For Raul R. Leveriza Jr. And Betty Balmaceda. But Who Knows The Sequel Could Be Written Unpredictably.

MY BROTHER RAUL R. LEVERIZA JR. REPLIED THUS TO MY PERSONAL LETTER TO HIM ABOUT HIS DIVORCE WHICH I POSTED IN MY BLOG ON JULY 18, 2008.

Please Click This Link To View "A Personal Letter To My Brother Raul"


September 26,2008

Dear Kuya Boy,

I read your blog.

I have always said that you have a way with words, but sensitivity (and empathy) you have always been short of. While your intentions may be out of concern and kindness, your blog, while profound and even poetic, reminds me of a person who talks because he loves to hear himself talk, rather than to communicate.

Now, why do I say that? You see, my divorce was very personal, deeply hurtful, and extremely "gut-wrenching" - and mine was a "mild' divorce. In Massachusetts, when you get divorced, you need to attend a 2-day, 6 hour seminar about divorce and its effects. And it was palpable: the anger, the hurt, and the confusion etched in the faces of those people there with me. One man had been separated for 15 years and was now trying to officially end it. But the personal trauma was still visibly apparent.

My divorce was personal. And I take issue with your blogging it publicly. I am not Britney Spears, and my life is not a public circus. I only informed our niece to tell Kuya, whom I consider the patriarch of our family now, because I did not want you and my other siblings to hear it from someone else. As you know me well, I would never burden others with my own problems.

I know you did not think of it that way, as I have said, sensitivity has never been one of your strengths. I am writing this letter to say that there are other ways to show sympathy or concern. Whatever it was you were trying to say was lost by the method you had chosen to use. You may as well have written it in Greek. A simple phone call would have sufficed.

Toy


PS. You may post this in your blog if you wish. And if there is any inkling in you to say "I'm sorry", don't say it to me. Say it to my former wife and to my kids. They did not deserve the public exposure of a very personal matter.

cc: Betty Balmaceda




DEAR TOY,



If there is a love story I'd love to write it's yours and Betty's. I held it sacrosanct and restrained myself out of respect for your privacy. In fact in the blog, I purposely omitted Betty's name and your surname to keep it incognito to a certain degree.

I would have loved to write about that MBA thesis which was started and dedicated to Jessica then completed by Betty. Nothing else could be a more faithful depiction of the shifting sands of love and the lives and persons catalyzed by it. Yours is a beautiful love story up to the late wedding with full grown children marching down the aisle to precede you. If nothing else such an event could be crowned a family covenant.

How it can be viewed negatively to mean less love is something I will never figure out. It served as the niggling stimulus that bejeweled to a pearl which saw Betty graduating with a cum laude from the Harvard University night school. It meant a growing up not only in individual pursuit but a strengthening of a collective bond as a couple. It stemmed from the drive to evolve and excel out of the inspiration from a loving relationship.

The sad thing is that you destroyed it with a divorce. The funny thing is that you consider it a denigration of your persons and therefore feel immeasurably hurt. Well, I take the opposite view. I should say it was a unique fairy tale that was casted for leading roles in an erratic manner. But you can still pick up the pieces, so to speak. But that is not for me to speculate about.

I apologize to Betty, to Mike, to Kevin, to Chris, to Daphne, and to Bianca.

In your case, you should learn how to be romantic again. Forget the forever arguments like you were a lifetime member of the debating team. Next time she nags you, don't say a word. Sweep her off her feet and whisk her away to bed. Give her the old bazooka. That shouldn't be a chore. I saw your latest pics and she matured splendidly. And you are no slouch or washout yourself in the looks department.

With love and respect,

Boy