Abba Krishna Update: Juan Manuel Marquez Flubs Routine Urine Test Before Fight By Going Berserk In Lab And Drinking Up All The Samples

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Juan nearly grew stiff from the whole range of anabolics, steroids, uppers and downers found in the urine specimens but what did him in was the dose from David Spade which bore traces of Viagra laced with pheromone from Eddie Van Halen for finger versatility.


In the order of discharges, the top three for potency of recyclable proteins and nutrients are necessarily menstruation, feces, and urine on third spot. Juan Manuel Marquez better not realize this lest he decide to switch hoses at midstream. Get it. Yuk yuk.


The Nevada boxing commission is bent on checking provisions in Marquez corner during the fight. They want to make sure that the liquid poured on top of his head is really water including the drink he takes during the breaks. This is to make sure Marquez doesn’t inflate to genie size and grow green like the Incredible Hulk after a gulp or two from the bottle. Corner men are persuaded to wear gas masks as a precaution.


Rumors are rife that the protagonists in the upcoming boxing event have bonded too closely behind the scenes are now actually drinking buddies. Floyd Mayweather Jr. had been observed engaging in drinking sprees with Juan Manuel in the bar at nearby Trump’s Casino with no less than the Donald himself playing genial host. The drinkathon lasts till the wee hours of the morning making experts wonder about the toll on their training regimens. Curious thing the waiters noted is that the trio order only one round of drinks in the beginning but never seem to run out in the next four or five hours with their glasses seeming to be full to the brim consistently. They only ask for replenishment of the ice and seem to be fiddling a lot under their table. Another curious thing the waiters noted is that they never get up to go to the john as most revelers do in the middle of marathon toss ups.


Game fixing could rear its ugly head for the forthcoming tiff because according to Freudian experts drinking each other’s bodily fluids inevitably develop attachment and affection for one another. Boxing is aggression and should really be a give and take of punches not bodily secretions.


Floyd Mayweather Sr. has been under a cloud of suspicion lately for being unusually bouncy and sprightly for his advanced years after getting close to Juan Manuel’s coterie. There is strong suspicion that the elder Mayweather himself has joined the secret cabal of extremists who derive sustenance from extremities and promote a sinister form of water conservation under the aegis of G R E E N P I S S.





























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